Bricking it!

I know police custody can be a daunting place to be but sometimes people take it a bit too far. I can accept the odd bit of nervousness, shaking hands, sweaty palms etc but I recall one ocassion where I attended a location in our town where a male had been seen outside one of the shops slumped on the ground.

On my way there our town centre CCTV operators had seen the male get up and kick a window of a well known supermarket. Evidently the window smashed and I was informed. It was at this point I knew that this male was going to be spending a night in one of our ensuites.

I arrived and the male was slumped on the floor again outside the supermarket right next to the small window that he had smashed. I arrested him on suspicion of smashing the window and soon realised he had been asleep through it all. We picked him up, and walked him to the car. He began to wake up over the journey back to the nick and we managed to get a name out of him and found out he had never been arrested before and that this was his 18th birthday.

When we got to the station we opened the door and tried to help him out to which he replied "Dont touch me, I aint no invalid" to which replied "So you are some invalid then?" Which is funny trying to see a drunk person trying to work out that you were commending them on their poor use of the double negative.I then pointed to the custody entrance and asked the male to make his own way to the door but as he casually strolled over to door he lost his footing or balance or both and fell straight forward and smashed his forehead on the doorhandle. If it wasnt enough that he now had an injury and would need to go to hospital. I noticed, whilst applying a bandage to the cut on his head a distict smell of faeces. It was what you would expect, to put it politely, he had soiled himself. The descision was made quite quickly that as the male had no previous convictios we would bail him to the next day and drop him off at A&E to prevent the smell coming anywhere near our custody block. The male returned the following day and admitted smashing the window and received a police caution.