New Years Heave

Christmas and New Years is a great time for a Police Officer. Well I say that meaning purely financially, with up to 6 days available to us at double time but as well as large pay packets New Years in particular gives out even more. This though comes in the manner of workload.

I remember one New Years in particular when I was partnered with the same officer who was my mentor when I first joined patrol out of training school. We always enjoyed working together and always had a laugh when times were hard. We had been patrolling around the town as, with every New Years or even weekend, that was where the trouble was to happen. We toured the pubs and clubs, saying hello to the door staff as we went, as it was best to keep the door staff on your side as they become invaluable if you are caught short of officer on busy nights. As we approached one club we spoke to one bouncer who was telling tales of how the club was nearing bankruptcy "Management want this night to keep us open if it's quite then were gone for good" said the bouncer, who resembled a cross between uncle fester and hulk hogan all dressed up in a nice black Armani knock off. We decided to part ways to which the bouncer concluded with "Hope you have a quiet night" Any person who has been anywhere near the police service will know that you do not say the Q word. You only say "Hope your night is Q" the reasons for this bizarre tradition will become prevalent.

As we left we received a message via our personal radios that Bouncers from another club nearby were having issues. We went there at full speed with all manner or lights and sounds going even though it was only a few minutes drive. As we turned up there were hundreds if not thousands of people outside of this club milling around everywhere. We arrived to find hundred of people all being light hearted and jovial. We then went to get back into our patrol car when a very angry individual approached us with blood pouring down his face and his shirt ripped open. Even though this male had a large injury to his head he continued to puff his chest out and goad all other members of public into fighting him. My colleague and I both grabbed one of the males arms each and leant him against the back of our squad car as he was so paralytic he couldn't walk. We called control to get us an Ambulance and then had nothing to do but stand there and wait. As it was nearing midnight we knew the Ambulance would be a while so we stood there holding onto the red faced, puffed chest male who was refusing for us to look at his injury saying "I just wanna go get him, I'm gonna smash his head in"

It wasn't long before we heard the unmistakable sound of thousands of intoxicated people in the clubs yelling "Happy New Year" all at the same time. At this point my colleague turned to me and said "Well while were here Happy New Year mate" to which I replied with a sarcastic tone "Yeah of course, you too"

The Ambulance never arrived so we thought it would be quicker to take the guy down to hospital ourselves. We dropped him off outside A&E and as he wandered off into the building a call came across the radio for officers to attend A&E for an angry male causing a disturbance. I turned to my college and said "It can't be him, he just walked in there, surely"

When we got in there it turned out it wasn't the same male. Instead it was an angry male that other officers had to deal with earlier from another club. What occurred before was that this male had been glassed in the side of the neck and was just dropped off there by a specialist unit under the illusion that a local unit can take details as they have guns but no paperwork. This male was incredibly drunk and also very aggressive. Although he had a hole in his neck the size of my fist and I could see all of the tendons in his neck working he was still fighting. He was pinned to the floor by 4 or 5 members of the hospital security team. My colleague then decided to try to negotiate and get the male seen to. He was very angry, anti-doctors, anti-police, anti-public. He was what we call an arse.

After about 2 hours of us telling the male to calm down and him threatening the staff, we came to a compromise. We would get his wound patched up, we would take him to his Nan's, as he asked, and he could see the doctor in the morning. This all worked out fine until he said that his Nan lived 30 miles away. My colleague then said "Sod this let's just get this arse away from out patch" because the police officer rule is "out of patch, out of mind"

When we dropped the arse off we could take a breather. I say breather but mean a break for my colleague to have a cigarette. We had to finish it quickly of course as our control had a fight kicking off with nobody free. So with lights and sirens going we took to the motorway and headed back to town. Of course half way through the 30 miles we were cancelled as they had found someone else but as soon as being cancelled we had another fight to go to.

Inevitably this didn't come to anything and before we knew it it was the end of our night and time to go home with the radio still ringing from fights and the inn full for the night. Of all of the goings on that night, the one thing I will never forget is the bouncer who ruined it all. So next time you see a police officer and want to wish him or her a quiet night remember to say Q and they will never be able to blame you for anything!